The Police Officer Hat Trick

Okay, those of you who are hockey fans have undoubtedly heard the term "hat trick" -- signifying that a player has scored three goals in one game. It was actually originally a cricket term, but I don't have enough friends in the U.K. reading this blog, so let's ignore that for a moment. I had always assumed it referred to a magic trick, like a player did something miraculous. Wikipedia says it referred to hat manufacturers who would give a new fedora to players who scored three goals in one game. Pfft.

A slightly lesser known variation is known as the "Gordie Howe Hat Trick," where a player must get a goal, an assist, and a fight all in the same game.

Even lesser known is the "Police Officer Hat Trick." This feat is something that I myself only accomplished once in my nine-year-and-one-day career. You must consume the three stereotypical "cop foods" in one eight-hour shift: coffee, bacon, and a doughnut.

When you think about it, this is not as easy a task as it sounds. Sure, you could get coffee and bacon together at a Waffle House or IHOP easily. But neither of them serve doughnuts. You could get coffee and a doughnut at a Dunkin Donuts, Krispy Kreme, or most gas stations, but you can't get bacon (though DD's turkey/cheese/bacon flatbread sandwich has made this easier in recent years). I still say it has to be a stand-alone bacon order, and not part of a sandwich, to make this a TRUE police officer hat trick.

Yes, I accomplished this once. I got a cup of coffee and a doughnut early in my shift (it was midnight, and only myself and the gas station clerk were there to witness me in uniform eating a doughnut). Later that shift, a few of us went to an IHOP and I completed the hat trick by getting a side order of bacon with my stack of pancakes (and probably more coffee).

I'm sure some officers are way more proficient than I was in my career. But some of you out there might still be reaching for that achievement. The important thing is to recognize when you are 2/3 of the way complete with this milestone, and know what it takes to finish it.