Bad Pickup Lines

Happy Singles Awareness Day, everyone! If you happen to be a bitter single guy on this mush-fest of a holiday, try this exercise to make you feel better. Go out to a bar or nightclub. Have this pre-printed list of bad pickup lines along with you. Try as many as you can. Getting rejected can be fun, if you're actually trying to get rejected. If you can get a friend to surreptitiously videotape the reactions, so much the better.

1. Why don't you dump the hero and go with the zero?
2. Why go with the best when you can go with the rest?
3. Baby, if you were a booger, I would pick you first.
4. Want me to disappoint you?
5. Looking for your future ex-husband? Here I am!
6. Nice shoes... want to kick me in the shins?
7. How'd you like to spend the night watching me play first-person shooter games on the PlayStation 3?
8. I wish I was your derivative so that I could lie tangent to your curves.
9. Our love is like dividing by zero... you cannot define it.
10. Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF, All my base are belong to you.
11. You're so cute, you make my zygomatic muscles contract.
12. If I could rearrange the periodic table, I'd put Uranium and Iodine together.
13. Life without you is like a broken pencil. Pointless.
14. Simplify this equation: 2i <>
15. I'm attracted to you like the Earth is attracted to the Sun... with a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared.
16. YouTube MySpace and I'll Google your Yahoo.
17. Al Gore was wrong... the reason for global warming is YOU!
18. You're as sweet as 3.14.
19. You're a pile of dinosaur bones, baby. I dig you.
20. My love for you is like pi. Irrational and never-ending.
21. If you were a triangle, you'd be acute!
22. Want me to call you in the morning? (No.) Should I just nudge you, then?
23. I just pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
24. Got your tickets? To the gun show? (flex arms)
25. It's not my fault I fell in love. You tripped me.
26. My name is Justin. Justin Credible.
27. I can tell by the way you're ignoring me that you want me.
28. There's something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it!
29. Does your phone have GPS? 'Cause I got lost in your eyes.
30. My love is like a Toyota Prius. It just won't stop.
31. Someone farted. Let's get out of here.
32. Baby, you set your phaser to "stunning."
33. Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
34. I have an "owie" on my lip. Would you kiss it and make it better?
35. Do you have a Band-Aid? I scraped my knee falling for you.
36. Greetings and salivations.
37. I want you to have my children. Right now. They're waiting in the car.
38. Does this rag smell like chloroform?
39. Your place or my Mom's?
40. Your name must be Princess Leia, because you're looking for love in Alderaan places.
41. You sure have a good-looking tooth.
42. Let's make like fabric softener and Snuggle.

Hope this helps. Now go have fun.